Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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