This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
