theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
