How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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