Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
