maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
