Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize