Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
