i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
