Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
