Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
