Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
