Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
