So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
