You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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