My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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