ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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