I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
