We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
