So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
