He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
