Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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