dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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