Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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