dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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