Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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