She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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