She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
