She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
