I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
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