16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
