I'm really into asian looking animals
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I should be sponsored by Trojan
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
