420 ftw
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
