i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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