I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
