he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
