Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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