what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
