I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
