everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
