The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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