You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
