I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
