Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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