Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
