Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
