I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
