you traded sex for a burrito?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
