Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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