And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
