so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
