I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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